Will giving my scared dog a treat reinforce the fear?
tl;dr: No
A few years ago while traveling with Heather, I got heat exhaustion. I lay on the trail feeling hot and scared. Heather said compassionate things to me and helped me cool off.
The next day, did I:
A. Drink no water so I’d get hot and scared again and Heather would say nice things? OR
B. Hydrate and otherwise take more care of my body?
If you picked B, you’re right! Do I need to be sick or scared for Heather to say kind things? Of course not. I know Heather loves me no matter what.
Your dog can know that too.
If your dog is scared and you give your dog a treat, this will NOT make your dog be scared more.
If your dog is upset and you take away the scary thing, this will NOT make your dog be upset more.
If our wonderful toddler scares Trixie and Trixie growls → I reward Trixie with treats.
Trixie barks at a dog? Treats. Doesn’t matter whether Trixie barks. Treats have led to less Trixie barking.
Trixie walks onto my lap after I come home? Lap time.
Giving Trixie treats when she’s scared felt so weird at first. I'm unlearning. I grew up with a voice that says: “If you go easy on yourself, Ilya, you won’t be able to do hard things.”
Sound familiar? If you struggle with the idea of giving your scared dog a treat, you’re not alone.
I keep reminding myself that the opposite is true: self-compassion supports me to do a little more challenging things. Compassion to Trixie and our toddler helps them build confidence too.
How does this land with you? Is there a situation where your dog gets scared and you’re not sure what to do? I'm here to help. Just reach out and I’ll respond.
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