Why isn’t your dog doing the thing? Is the thing too hard?
Trixie, a small white dog, lays on the grass next to Ilya. Trixie’s tall ears are up and she is looking at something, maybe Ilya’s hand. Ilya is smiling and sitting. In the back is a chain-link fence.
One night last week, our toddler almost ran into the street.
We were coming out of the farmer's market, and I said: “Okay, we've got to hold hands crossing the street.”
The toddler started running towards the street. I ran after, I scooped the toddler up. And I said “Okay, I've got to carry you the rest of the way home because it's too hard for you to hold hands right now.”
And I was feeling scared, mad, confused. Doesn't the toddler know that we always hold hands crossing the street?
And then it hit me. That what I’d been asking of the toddler was just too hard at that moment. The toddler was:
Tired
Probably hungry
Definitely had to go potty
Those things were all true for me too.
It was just too hard for us to hold hands crossing the street right then.
One other reason why it was hard is that we’d never walked home from the farmer’s market. So I was asking him to do a behavior that he’s really solid at around preschool. But in this new situation with way more distractions.
So I started telling myself “oh you shouldn’t have done that. You should have just come home first” But then I reminded myself:
I’m a good enough dad.
I kept our toddler safe
And our toddler is a good kid.
We were just having a hard moment right then.
So I’m telling you this story because this can happen with dogs too. It can feel like the dog isn’t listening, like the dog is being stubborn. Like the dog knows what we want, the dog just isn’t doing it.
I’m offering invitation in those moments to notice if there might be a reason why it’s too hard for your dog right then. And that reason could be your dog being
Tired
Sick
In pain
Scared
